I am finally able to sit down and start writing the thank you notes for people who sent flowers, had masses said, etc. for my mil. I have found a few cards in the stack that are actually Christmas cards send to my in-laws from people - mostly former neighbors, who don't know she passed away. Should I send them some kind of note letting them know of her death and if so, how would I word it?

By Conni on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 11:59 am:

If you have their number I would call them instead and explain that you rcv'd the cards and wanted to let them know of the situation...

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 12:01 pm:

Thank you for your Christmas card, sent to (her) and (him) (last name). Sadly, (she) passed away on (date). I apologize for letting you know so long after her death, but I have only recently been able to go through all of the cards and letters sent by kind friends like you.

By Amecmom on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 02:23 pm:

If you have any prayer cards from the wake/funeral, you might want to enclose one.
Ame

By Colette on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 03:23 pm:

you gals are great! thank you so much!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 05:33 pm:

One year, I sent a Christmas card to someone, who had passed away the previous year. I got a phone call from her sister. It was nice getting a call, since I could catch up with what the family was doing. It was someone who I had worked with, where we used to live.

By Hol on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 10:38 pm:

Colette - I am still stunned about your mother-in-law's death. I was thinking about you the other day. The fact that she passed so quickly, and of something so seemingly commonplace is so tragic! Did they ever find out why? Were there any other underlying issues?

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I don't mean to seem insensitive, but the whole sitiuation is very scary. (((HUGS)))

By Colette on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 05:34 pm:

Thank you Hol. The medical examiner blew it off and wrote down that she had pneumonia for 3-4 days - even though 48 hours before she had gone shopping at the mall and was fine. No one looked into the fact that 18 family members or whatever the number was, I forget now, became violently ill in the days following her death, including the EMTs. It is still very, very, unreal to me, I cannot believe that woman is not going to walk around the corner and talk to me and my father in law is having a very hard time with it all. I don't know if we will ever get over this.

By Hol on Tuesday, January 16, 2007 - 12:33 am:

Colette - My DD is an ER nurse and I was telling her about your dear MIL. I told her how the medical examiner ruled her passing pneumonia. She said that there IS a form of walking pneumonia going around this winter that only manifests as stomach flu. No cough, no shortness of breath, etc. It is very potent and very contagious. She said that there have been a couple deaths in our community from it. I said, "but she was in the mall not 48 hours before". She said, "I know. It's bizarre, but that is why they call it "walking pneumonia". It's very tragic. Also, because we are such a mobile society, germs can be passed from one part of the country to the other (the world, for that matter) very quickly.

I can't stop thinking about you. I know firsthand what it is to lose someone very suddenly who appears to be well. A big part of the grieving process is just trying to wrap your mind around it and realize that they really are gone. Because my DS lived in Nebraska and not here, it just seemed to me for the longest time that he was still in Nebraska. I went out to help my daughter-in-law dispose of his things. His boots and shoes and clothes were right in the closet where he left them, so I know what you are going through.

I hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.