Scott's brother and his wife are always requesting that gifts not be sent because their children have enough toys, yet they are always sending Connor toys for his birthday and Christmas. (We just recieved 2 from them today.)

I feel bad receiving gifts when they have expressed, in the recent past, that their kids have enough toys and don't want gifts. So, I don't send anything...(their children are 2 and 1 yrs old.)

What should I do?

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 04:56 pm:

I would also feel awkward in your situation. I think I would send their kids something practical like a new outfit or hat/mittens, etc. or some age appropriate books. That way you would be acknowledging their request and also enjoying the spirit of giving.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 04:58 pm:

Or how about a family gift? Like a gift certificate to an area zoo or park they like to frequent.

By Kaye on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 05:07 pm:

What about a joint magazine subscription to ladybug?

I would send something also, but make sure it isn't toys and it is consumable!

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 05:10 pm:

Ditto the others. Those are great ideas! Natalie gets Wild Animal Baby through the National Wildlife Federation and I really like that for her, too. That's just another subscription idea. It's for toddlers and has heavier cardboard-type pages.

By Vicki on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 06:38 pm:

The first thing that comes to mind is have you told them not to send things to Connor? If they have requested you not send gifts, but you didn't request the same thing back, that might be why they are sending them??

I would have to send gifts too if they were sending them to me. I would just feel too weird not to.

By Kate on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 06:45 pm:

I had the same thought as Vicki...when they requested no gifts, how did you respond? I think they were trying to open a dialogue about gift exchanges and it all depends on how you responded. If someone requested that of me, I'd be happy to request the same thing back. My kids, too, have more than enough and I'm more than happy to cut back on gift exchanges. So if you feel Connor has enough and you'd rather he not receive from these people, I would say so. I do think, with their kids being so very little, that if they are going to send things to Connor with your blessing, then you really ought to do something for their children, as well. I agree with the magazine subscriptions or clothing or books or museum tickets suggestions.

If you requested no gifts for Connor when they requested no gifts for their children, and they aren't following through and you are, then just keep doing what you're doing. They decided to send anyway, while you decided to honor their request. But if you said nothing about not sending to Connor, that's why they keep sending.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 07:47 pm:

I hadn't even thought of that. It seems really strange to me that they would specifically request that gifts NOT be sent. Their children are small...there's NOTHING they could need or enjoy? That's kind of weird to me. UNLESS, like others have said, they really don't want to exchange for money reasons. Do you think?

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 08:58 pm:

At their daughter's 1st birthday in August, they said that no gifts were to be given because they said there were enough toys in the house, etc.

Then, before Christmas, she said "We aren't doing a gift exchange this year because we are trying to consume less. You should receive cookies in the mail."

I assumed she was talking about a gift exchange between us and the cousins, etc.

I'm just confused...she is as sweet as pie and I don't want to offend them. If I were to ask people to not give to us, I wouldn't give to them either. But, I guess I shouldn't assume that people would do what I would do.

Deanna, I do find it weird that they say "we have enough toys"...they have enough toys because they don't know how to get rid of the old ones, really. She is a genuine pack rat and I think she's trying to appease her husband by not collecting anymore junk.

I think I'll just send them some books...can't go wrong with those, right? And, in the future, I will ask the same if they request again.

By Tsa on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 11:49 pm:

At that age they don't get the value of gifts. Now is a perfect time to buy them Bonds or start a college fund. I know we appreciated it greatly when the kids were that age.