Okay, I won't even go into the details, but here's a question for you:
How would you feel if your sibling gave your child a hand-me-down toy as a birthday gift? Knowingly, told you this before giving the gift. This sibling is not financially well-off, but certainly doing fine. Am I a SNOB? Am I being a snoot? You can be honest.

What would you think of that?

By Kaye on Friday, June 23, 2006 - 11:02 pm:

Depends what it is. Honestly it would bug me a bit, but I would let it go quick. At least your child got a gift and she has no idea. What it something one of her kids loved and adored and she wanted to share?

Life is too short to waste much mental time on little stuff

By Mrsheidi on Friday, June 23, 2006 - 11:16 pm:

I would be a little put off. But, if it were a sentimental gift then I would think differently.
But, to be honest, I feel like that's being lazy really. Not really putting time and effort into a birthday...a celebration of your one and only!!

By Tink on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 12:39 am:

Ditto Heidi. I just don't think that most people that are comfortable financially would be unable to provide a $20 gift for a birthday so it just comes down to not wanting to be bothered by going out and shopping for a gift that would mean something. The only thing that could ease my irritation is if it really was something that her children had loved AND if it was still is very good shape (which is hard to find if her children did love it that much!).

My children's godmother gave my dks a set of computer games for Christmas and I was a little upset to find out that she'd copied and given the exact same set to every set of grandchildren and nieces and nephews that she has. Hmm...presents for 15 children for $15 and no effort whatsoever! And really, what is a 6 and 8 year old supposed to do with a Boobah computer game?

By Vicki on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 07:45 am:

To me, it would depend on what the gift was. But if I have to answer one way or the other, no it wouldn't bother me at all unless it was sooo used that it was broke or missing pieces or something like that.

By Cocoabutter on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 11:10 am:

Depends on what condition the toy is in and the age of the child receiving it. The child may be so young that it doesn't matter to her- the toy is new to her, and it is a "new" toy that she didn't have before.

My son is finally catching on to the spirit of giving to those who don't have as much as he does. Last month, he gave up his GameBoy Color so that his friend could have a present for his birthday. It's a long story- we actually went shopping for this kid, but the gift we bought turned out to be something the kid couldn't use, so my son said, "He can have this instead." The friend was SOOO HAPPY.

Honestly, I think it is superficial to get one's panties in a bunch over whether or not a gift was new from a store. If you know that they don't have much money, then don't expect much from them in the way of new stuff for your kid.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 02:20 pm:

They have enough $, that doesn't have anything to do with it. Yes, Natalie will never know the difference, and yes, it's a fairly new toy that was just unwanted by her children.

I hardly think my "panties are in a bunch", but I honestly just think it's rude and I wondered what others thought about it. I'm over it already, just wondered if others felt the same. I guess I just know that I would never give someone a used toy as a gift. My sister often gives Natalie hand-me-down toys and books throughout the year, and we greatly appreciate it. It's just not appropriate to give a used gift, IMO, and I was curious how others felt.

I know what toy she is giving her, and I know Natalie will like it regardless of where it came from.

By Conni on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 04:40 pm:

I have had this done by a family member to my ds and to dh and I. I totally get what you are saying and understand how you feel. It isnt that you are ungrateful (sp?)... It just isnt how *I* was raised and I dont have family that does this... But my dh's family. Good gravy... heeheehee

By Crystal915 on Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 06:14 pm:

I think it's tacky, unless it's a sentimental item like an old rocking horse or something.

By Tripletmom on Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:07 am:

My sister did the same thing for Katie's 1st Birthday.She gave her a used teddy bear.I was hurt by it.I have spent alot of money on her kids for holidays and expected a little more than that.In my sisters case I think it boiled down to laziness/cheap,she owns a baby consignment store and I think it was just easier to grab something quick and be done with it.It is not a case of not being able to afford it either.

By Yjja123 on Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 12:00 pm:

My kids have received used or regifts. The worst being my son gettting a scented gardenia Ello set with butterflies and fairys. Not a boy gift. We now just consider the source and donate the gift. It has taken me a long time to realize you cannot change people. You can only change your response. We no longer give the evil SIL a response. We expect nothing from her and that softens the blow. Is it right? NO! Is is cheap? YES! In the big scheme of things your child will realize that some people are more thoughtful than others.
(((((HUGS!))))

By Reds9298 on Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 03:58 pm:

Yvonne - "It has taken me a long time to realize you cannot change people. You can only change your response.">>>>>>I think I'm just beginning to realize this, and I have a LONG way to go!! Very true. Something I will be working on for a long time to come, I'm sure.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

By Lorebunde on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 11:47 am:

I had given a co-worker a "used" toy along with a new one for her sons b-day. It was almost brand new. By the time my son had rec'd it he was older and didn't really care for it. My my own experience I would never assume someone can afford it. You never know what bills some people have. They may look like they have a "ton" of money but most likely a "ton" of bills. This person, also, I was not all that close with so in my opinion they were lucky they got a gift at all (didn't mean to sound too snobby)

By Reds9298 on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 02:05 pm:

This is my sister, and we are close, so I know all about her financial status. If it were a friend, I wouldn't think about it as much because you're right Lorebunde, you don't know what someone's situation is just by "looking". I just happen to know hers!