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My poor cousin...

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2006: My poor cousin...
By Luvn29 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 12:36 pm:

Just some history...

My cousin, who is right at 40, and her husband never really tried to have children after they found out they couldn't. Wasn't really an issue with them.

Well, several months ago, she went to the doctor because she was sick, throwing up, and thought she had a virus. She was pregnant. They were so excited. She was a completely new person. Couldn't wait to be a mommy. It was suddenly very important to them.

The teachers that worked with her husband threw a huge shower for them and they had new everything. They didn't have to buy a thing. Someone made them a beautiful cradle, bought a bassinet, they had the baby room painted. Everything was ready.

Last week, she was telling her mother she couldn't wait till he was out so she could just hold him in her arms. He was moving so much she was teasing about having to spank his little butt.

She saw her dr. last week. She was due now. Ready to have the baby at any time.

Yesterday morning, she woke up and was sick. She threw up, and other details I'm not sure of. Her husband took her immediately to the hospital. They took the baby, and he had died.

At this point, no one has been told anything, so we don't know what happened or why, or if the cord was wrapped around his neck or what.

They are devastated. All of us are, but I can't imagine how they are feeling. They were fine, being childless. They had made their lives without having children, and they were happy. But when she accidently became pregnant, their lives turned upside down, and they suddenly couldn't imagine life any other way. Now it has been taken away from them again. I just feel so bad for her when they have to go home and face all of the new baby things and the prepared nursery and everything.

Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

By Tonya on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 12:45 pm:

Oh god I cannot imagine!! My prayers are with them. That is something I could never imagine going through!! God be with them they are going to need him more now than they ever could have before.

By Tklinreston on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 12:47 pm:

Oh how horrible! I can't even begin to imagine their sorrow. They will definitely be in my prayers...

By Janet on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 12:49 pm:

Oh, that is so horrible! :(

By Vicki on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:00 pm:

They are in my prayers. The same thing happened not too long ago with a co-worker of dh. No cord wrapped reason what so ever for the baby passing. It also happened to a guy that I went to school with and his wife. I think it happens more than anyone realizes. I just can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to be so close to your due date and have this happen. In none of the cases I have ever heard of has there been a "reason" for it either. It is just so sad.

By Tayjar on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:01 pm:

That is heart-wrenching. I am so sorry for your cousin. She will be in my prayers.

By Crystal915 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:17 pm:

Many hugs to your family... that is just heart-breaking.

By Reds9298 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:24 pm:

I can't even begin to imagine what you are all going through. I'm just so sorry for everyone. What a terrible loss.

Lots of prayers for your whole family.

By Luvn29 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:30 pm:

Wow, I just found out more information. They live away from here, and with everything going on, we found out some inaccurate info yesterday. They DIDN'T take the baby C-section yesterday. When she went in having the problems, they hooked her up to monitors and couldn't find a heartbeat for the baby so they did an ultrasound. That is when they found out the baby had died.

She JUST THIS MORNING finally, through labor, had the stillborn baby. And the cord wasn't wrapped around his neck.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like laying there all day long and all night long with your baby still in you, knowing that he had died. Wow. And then how hard would it be going through all the emotional, mental, and physical pain of labor knowing that you wouldn't be celebrating the birth of your baby...

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

By Vicki on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:43 pm:

Yep, that is what everyone I know has had to do too. That has to be pure torture.

By Emily7 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:46 pm:

Adena I am so sorry! My thoughts & prayers are going out to your cousin & your family.

By Kernkate on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:47 pm:

:( Thoughts and prayers to everyone.

By Debbie on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:50 pm:

How horrible for them. I will definitely keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

By Luvn29 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 01:51 pm:

Yeah, me too, Vicki. You think they could come up with a better way, don't you. I guess they don't want to put them under anethesia because of the emotional trauma they are going through, but it seems like giving them an epidural and doing a c-section would be less traumatic even though you do have the recovery time...

By Tink on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 02:00 pm:

This happened to my mother when I was 7yo. She was three weeks away from her due date and went in for her regular prenatal checkup. They couldn't find a heartbeat and she has to wait two days to go into labor. It's still one of the hardest things she's ever gone through. My thoughts and prayers are with your cousin. I hope none of us ever have to go through such heartache.

By Yjja123 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 02:17 pm:

So sorry! Thoughts and prayers to everyone involved!

By Marcia on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 02:28 pm:

I was with my best friend when she delivered her daughter, born still. We knew a couple of days before delivery, but a natural delivery was suggested by the doctor. If she didn't deliver within a certain amount of time, he would have done a C. We had time to spend with her afterwards, took pictures, etc. It was one of the most emotional things I've ever been through.
They found that her cord was too short. I think they said the normal length is 18-24", and hers was 12". She simply turned and stretched it too far, and her air was slowly cut off. She had been a very active baby until that point.
I'm so very sorry for your cousin's loss.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 02:39 pm:

I'm very sorry for your cousin's loss. That has to be the hardest thing to go through.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 03:20 pm:

My heart just sank when I read this. I really don't think I would be able to get out of bed, much less eat if that happened to our family.
Give her some hugs for's just unfathomable. Just so sad. :(

By Trina~moderator on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 05:04 pm:

:( Oh no. I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the pain and heart ache. Many {{{HUGS}}} and prayers.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 05:18 pm:

Wow. Unbelievable. Prayers are definitely on the way.

By Annie2 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 06:36 pm:

Your cousin will be in my thoughts and prayers. How tragic! :(

By Tripletmom on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 08:27 pm:

I'm really sorry for you're cousin.Its the most awful thing to go through.I had a missed miscarriage,not as far along as you're cousin and it hurt,it hurt everyone.It was hard going for an ultrasound and finding out there was no heart beat.I had to carry the baby for almost a week in me knowing I would never bring him home.God works in mysterious ways,I got pregnant 3 mths later and ended having triplets.My DD always says God took him back because he needed 2 brothers with him.I hope she can get pregnant as soon as possible it really helped with my healing.Her facing people will be her hardest thing she'll do.Please send hugs from me and my family.

By Bellajoe on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 09:29 pm:

I'm so sorry. I can imagine all the people who knew she was pregnant will be asking her about the baby next time they see her. I can't imagine how hard that will be for her. :( I am so very sorry for your family's loss. That's so sad. I so hope she can get pregnant again.


By Luvn29 on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 09:54 pm:

Thanks so much everyone for everything. You all truly are the best. (((Hugs to you)))

By Beth on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 10:51 pm:

How terrible for this poor family. I pray that she will be able to get through this and if she wants have another child. I can not even imagine. ((hugs to your whole family))

By Nicki on Tuesday, April 4, 2006 - 01:15 am:

I am so sorry. This is so heart breaking. I will be praying.

By Sandysmom on Tuesday, April 4, 2006 - 01:31 am:

This is so heartbreaking. The same thing happened to my mother. It was her first baby as well. Please keep us updated as to how they are doing. ((((HUGS))))

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, April 4, 2006 - 09:18 am:

That is so incredibly sad....heartbreaking..... They are in my thoughts and prayers.

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