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I just need to vent and dh is tired of listening!!

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004: I just need to vent and dh is tired of listening!!
By Beth on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 08:37 am:

I admit I have been venting to dh about this a lot. I am starting to sound like a real b***h! I also realize I am being somewhat selfish. But here goes I will try to make this brief.
My mil came to live with us last July. Now most of you probably think that is my problem. Well for the most part that has gone okay. It has its moments. My problem is other family members coming from North Carolina to visit. My dh's brothers are coming in July and this will be there 4th trip in a year!
Grant it one trip they came and sided our house and helped us out of a real bind. I appreciated it immensly. But it took them a month. Having 3 extra grown men in the house almost drove me to the loony bin. Not to mention the food bill was close to $900 dollars.
They are coming again in July. They never have a set plan who's coming and how long they are staying it changes week to week. Orginally they were all three coming for 4 days around the 9th due to ones work schedule. Now he can't come so 2 are coming on the 2nd and staying 2 to 3 weeks! They are also bringing my bil's two kids who are like 12 and 15. These kids get on my nerves. I know thats bad to say. But they fight, bicker, and talk back to there dad. Not to mention they eat like two grown adults!
They thing that really gets me. My dk's are going to my parents house the first week in July. I look forward to that every year! Now I will have a house full of company. If they had stuck to the original plan it would have been fine. Now I have to put up with his kids while mine are gone.
They eat to much food, and never have any money! My mil will spend all of her July money on food for them. She will just say well those are my boys they expect me to! It makes me ill the way she waits on them.
I feel bad for dh he wants to know what I want him to do???? I know he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. I also don't want to make mil feel bad. She does a lot for me. They like I said did us a big favor also. We do have some fun when they visit. I just wish they would give me time to miss them before they come back!!!!Okay I have vented enough! Thanks for listening if you got this far.

By Amecmom on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 08:50 am:

I know this isn't much consolation, but think of how much money they saved you by siding your house. Have they eaten that much in food costs yet? :)

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family - and that includes your husband's relations. You won't solve any problems by venting to him or by making him feel bad - I can see from your post you know that already.

All you can do is make the best of it - and I think you know that already, too:).

Hope you do have a good time. Sorry about all the negatives - but see if once they are here, you can't find some way to turn them around.


By Texannie on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 09:11 am:

What a perfect opportunity for you to go away on a girls' trip! Your kids will be at your folks, you know your dh won't be lonely. ;) Go, recharge yourself!!

By Coopaveryben on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 09:31 am:

Since someone is there with your MIL and your kids are gone couldn't you and your husband go away for a few days, even if it is camping or something really inexpensive? All you have to say is, since the kids are gone you are going to take a few days to yourself and that you can't wait to spend some time with them too when you get back.

Good luck!

By Emily7 on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 10:00 am:

I think Annie is right talke a few days for yourself. Let your dh know though that when you get back the house better not be a mess. I would mention your in-laws that the kids are going to be gone & you would appreciate it if they would only stay for a week so you 2 can have time. I would mention it before they get there.

By Amy~moderator on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 01:54 pm:

I would do as suggested above and either go away for a few days by yourself or with your hubby.

By Beth on Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 11:01 pm:

Well I wish I could go away but I work second. I did take two days off while my dk's are gone. We are actually going to be gone for the 4th while they are here. I am going to my parents. When they changed there plans again. I told dh you will just have to tell them if they want to come then go ahead but we won't be here. They can visit with my mil. I have been trying to be better about this. But I was gone today, come home and dh says his brother now called and said they may come as early as Thursday. Yet another change of plans. AAAAH!
Dh was talking this morning about asking them to wait until after the 9th as orginally planned. But his one brother gets his nose so bent out of shape easily I don't think he is going to.
I have told dh if it all gets to be to much I am going to a hotel! He didn't say no!!!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, June 28, 2004 - 12:00 am:

Oh boy do I know where you are at. My mother in law is now living with us. Tuesday will be two weeks. As far as her being here everything is going well. When they say you marry your parents in DH's case that is more than true. His mom and I are very much alike and get a long great, always have. But my brother and sister in law are going to get a piece of my mind. DH's sister thinks we should drop everything and run mom an hour and 45 minutes to her house. She won't see that I moved her home from 9 and a half hours away to a much more reasonable distance and just maybe she should put her happy rear in a car and drive up here to see her. I have a sister that is ready to have a baby, whose husband has been stationed in Italy for the last five months of her pregnancy (he is coming home tonight). She was put on ristrictions two months ago so I have been taking care of my house and hers. My mother is in the process of moving. My step father has had issues with cancer and surgeries to remove it. I have been taking MIL to doctors appointments and running her to take care of other things she needed to take care of. I have my plate full but all DH's brother and sister see is that we have mom living here and that she is their mom and if I get put out oh well. Sister in law called her one day 15 times. Liked to have drove us all nuts.... And neither of them want her to live with them, need their privacy. Neither of them want her to stay the night at their houses for that matter because it would be putting them out. But I should drop everything and run her all over to make them happy. Forget that..... Oh and MIL has let her drivers license go (eye site and reaction time is bad) so her driving herself any where is not an option. Not a complaint by me at all, I have no problem driving her but it does creat and issue with them. Just wish they would see we have a life too. And that the world doesn't revolve around them and their schedules..... PHEW, I feel better....

No suggestions on how to deal with their visit, other than try to make the best of it.

By Feonad on Monday, June 28, 2004 - 07:20 am:

How come they can come for three weeks? What about their jobs?

I know you mil is loving it but it seems like you could limit the visit to a week, unless you are too kind. They seem to be coming every 3 months or so anyway...

It does seem like too much, though they did save you $10,000 on the siding soo.....

Or you could limit their visits in the future to a reasonable time.

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