Maybe this should be on the parenting board...I'm not sure.

Anyway, my 11.5 year old wants to wear make-up. Up til now I have not allowed it and told her when she was 16 she could. It isn't a huge fight or anything and I do let her wear lip gloss. I'm wondering if I am being too harsh. What are your thoughts?

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 12:04 pm:

I'm with you, Paula. 11.5 is far too young for makeup. I'd recommend you stick to your guns, certainly as long as it's not a huge fight.

One of the problems with wearing make-up is it gives the illusion that a girl is more grown-up, and puts her in the way of more grown-up risks, with boys thinking she is more grown-up than she actually is.

By Yjja123 on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 12:06 pm:

I let Jessica wear it (lightly done). She has to wear it in dance and started asking to wear it at 11. She wears a little eye shadow and lip gloss.
I think in the big scheme of things, it isn't worth battling over. Granted, if she wanted to wear black eyeliner and lips (Gothic), I may feel differently

By Rayelle on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 03:12 pm:

Here are a few things you might not have thought of and also may not be an issue. I had to be 14 for makeup other than lip gloss. However, in about 6th or 7th grade I was allowed to wear some foundation, power, cover up. It made me feel better about the pimples I had and oily skin. Some make-up can make that worse, but the new mineral stuff they have now might be good if that is an issue for her. Another thing I was allowed once I found it was clear mascara. It didn't do anything to make me look older, but it made me feel a little special. I'd ask her why she wants to wear it.

By Vicki on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 04:57 pm:

I think I would ask her what kind of make up she wants to wear. Dd is 13 and in 7th grade. Before now, she just wore lip gloss. However, it became important to her this year for some reason, so I am allowing it. I worked with her on how to put it on and the proper way to take it off at night also. The colors I bought for her, well, lets just say she could put on the whole container and not have too much on. LOL VERY light pink blush and a very light eye shadow palette. She does not wear eye liner and does have a waterproof mascara that she sometimes puts a wee bit of that on and of course lip gloss. To be totally honest, I can't even really tell when she does put make up on, but I wouldn't tell her that. LOL She does a nice job of going very light on it and it makes her feel good. MANY of the girls in her class wear tons more than she does and she actually thinks it looks bad on them. So I give her credit for that! I just don't think a little make up is worth the fight. Now, if she wanted to wear the eye liner and put too much on, we would have to talk about that! I am saving my battles for bigger things!

By Vicki on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 04:58 pm:

Oh I forgot, she also wears no foundation. Just light shadow, light blush, a little mascara (sometimes) and gloss.

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 06:24 pm:

Depends on the makeup, but definitely not waiting until 16. I agree with Rayelle, sometimes makeup helps the skin look better. As long as it's tastefully done, and in light amounts, it could be a good time to have a "mother and daughter" trip together and pick out some stuff that you would approve of.

By Karen~admin on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 07:39 pm:

Ditto Heidi.

By Tink on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 08:23 pm:

Another ditto Heidi.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 08:25 pm:

Ditto Heidi, Yvonne, and Vicki. Would not wait until 16 here either, and I started wearing it around 11 or so. Lightly done, teach how to apply, a real mother-daughter thing. I plan to make it a special event to add one or two make-up items, and the same department store brand that I wear. I don't think it's a battle worth fighting personally either, but in the same breath, it's also not Gothic like Yvonne mentioned. That would be a different story!

There was only one thing where my parents said 'have to wait until 16' (dating). Everything else was up for full discussion.

I also think it's a good idea to ask why she's interested in wearing it now (just in casual conversation). Do you wear much makeup yourself?

By Marcia on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 09:58 pm:

My 14 year old can't stand the thought of make-up. She has some minor sensory issues, and the feeling of having make-up on is what turns her off.

My 12.5 year old asked for some make-up for Christmas. I bought her some, but she'll only try it out at home, I'm sure. A friend's mom works at MAC, and she gave her a few things tonight. I have no problem with her using a light amount. Like the others above me, I'll make it a fun thing to show her how to wear it properly. She's much more of a girly girl than her older sister, and that's ok.

My 11 year old hasn't shown any interest at this point.

It's funny, my 12 year old told me that the boys in her class are much more interested in how they look than the girls are. She said they are always combing their hair and checking to make sure it looks ok.

By Paulas on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 10:08 pm:

Deanne, no, I don't wear much make-up. I go to work most days without it. Occasionally I wear it but not often.

I will sit down with her and ask her why she wants to wear it. She's developed an interest in boys this year so I worry about her looking older. At 11.5 years old she is about 5'3", wears a size 8 shoe and has developed breasts. I don't want the older boys to get the wrong impression.

I wasn't firm with the 'not until you're 16' and honestly, didn't think that would happen. However, I wasn't sure if 11.5 and 6th grade was too young.

By Dramamamma on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 10:37 pm:

I can remember starting junior high (6th grade) and getting to wear light eyeshadows and light lipstick. I didn't wear foundation until late high school I think. I only started wearing eyeliner and lipliner in the past 4-5 years because my mom never wore those things.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 10:39 pm:

The 18yo and 15yo girls at my house couldn't care less about makeup! LOL! Just not their thing. Probably because it really isn't my thing, either! Makeup was most often only used on Halloween! LOL!

By Debbie on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 11:01 pm:

I started wearing just some blush and lip gloss in middle school. I started wearing a little more when I was a freshman in high school. My mom went with me to pick it out, and then showed me how to use it.

I agree with Heidi, a little makeup in the right shades, applied correctly, would not be a problem for me.

By Kaye on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 09:47 am:

in jr high here, really about 85% of the 8th graders wear make up, probably 50% of the 7th graders and maybe 20% of the 8th graders. I let mine start wearing when she asked. This is little stuff, and you can monitor it if it is done at home.

By Tayjar on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 11:01 am:

Most of the girls in our jr high don't wear it because they are so involved in sports that it's a nuisance.

If your DD does decide to wear it, have a "neutral" person talk to her - like a Mary Kay or Clinique consultant. She will listen to their advice over yours. They will explain how to correctly apply it, why more isn't better, and how to use it to enhance her looks not draw attention to herself. I did this with my niece and it was the best thing we ever did. I did cheat and talked to the sales girl ahead of time and explained my goal. It worked. She's never looked trashy and has great looking skin. We still bought most of her makeup at a Walgreen's or someplace like that but she at least know enough to pick the right shades for her skin tone. Good luck.

By Luvn29 on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 12:04 pm:

Tayjar, that is an excellent idea!

I wasn't even allowed to wear tinted lip gloss till I was in high school!

I have really learned from all the arguments when I was a kid that a lot of them just aren't worth it. I really stop and think "Do I really have a valid reason to blatently say no?" If not, then I just set limits.

My parents have even realized that they were way too strict about most things.

My daughter is 11.5 and she has to wear full make-up, foundation, eyes, lips, etc. whenever she has her productions. She looks like a teenager and it kills me! But any other time I allow her to wear light eyeshadow, a little blush, and lip gloss. You really don't even know she has it on, but it makes her feel good. And she knows that she is not to take anything to school other than lip gloss. And to be honest with you, since she knows she is allowed, most of the time she doesn't even fool with it. But I guarantee if it were something I absolutely said no about, she'd drive me crazy constantly about it!

By Crystal915 on Monday, December 24, 2007 - 05:38 am:

I'm like Rayelle, I was allowed to start wearing makeup by age 10, because my skin wwas always broken out, I think letting her wear just a pressed powder, and some lip gloss, she will be happy, and you have avoided a fight over nothing.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, December 24, 2007 - 11:56 am:

Ditto, "I have really learned from all the arguments when I was a kid that a lot of them just aren't worth it. I really stop and think "Do I really have a valid reason to blatantly say no?" If not, then I just set limits."

Katie will be 11 in March and wears light make up. She wears natural shades, pressed powder, light eye shadow and lip gloss. She doesn't wear blush or eye liner, things like that, I have told her we will work into those things as she gets older. She is fine with what I allow.. and teaching her how to grow into her woman hood is better than letting her jump in at a set age. You can't really tell she is wearing anything, but she knows she is and that is all that matters to her.. She also is into wearing light perfumes. She is really a girly girl..

On the other hand Emily is all boy, she will not brush her hair if she can get away with it.. LOL I am sure her time will come.

I wear natural colors too and both girls are not into the heavly made up look...

If she is wanting to do it for valid reasons, let her do it. Have fun with it and encourage her to look and feel her best..