Do any of you dislike sending invitations to people who you know will not come?

We are Jewish, my son is having his Bar Mitzvah over Labor Day weekend. We are having a simple lunch right afterwards in the social hall.It will be simple, but that is what we can afford. I do know my parents, my aunt, and my sister in law and brother in law are coming in from out of town. Other then that, I KNOW no other reletives from out of town will come. I am totally fine with that. Yet, I hate sending invitations to people I know wont be able to make it. To me, its like saying I know you cant make it, but send a gift anyways. I mean, no it doesnt say that. That is how I feel about it. My parents sent me a small list of reletives to send invitations too, all out of town people. Most of them I havent seen in years.

So does it bother you to send invitations to people you know wont make it to the party?

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, July 14, 2007 - 01:10 pm:

I know what you mean. Could you send a note saying "I'm sending you this invitation so that you have a souvenir of an important time in (son's name) life and in our family. We hope that you will be able to come, but if you cannot, please think of (son's name) on (date, time). Of course, (son's name) doesn't expect any kind of gift, just your good wishes."

And maybe enclose a picture of your son or a family picture and mention it.

By Tsa on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 08:58 pm:

Yes, it bothers me to send them, but I feel slighted if I don't recieve one. Especially something as important as a Bar Mitzvah. This is an important mile stone in your son's life. People should be given the opportunity to celebrate with your son. A simple no gifts please or let your prayers be your gift on the invitation would take care of the awkwardness. Have fun planning the very important day.

By Kaye on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 09:40 pm:

I have to agree it feels a little like gift shopping. But because I was a family far away, it was nice to at least feel included. My hubby's family is bad about info, so I always appreciated being invited. Besides if I was wanting to take a trip, it might just be the occassion I need to firm up plans.

However, I do think the line, no gifts please, handwritten would be great.

I would handwrite it too, because face it, this is a big deal for you and your son, he has worked hard for this. He should get a few gifts and you don't want all of them to exclude gifts. This is a great milestone and celebration, enjoy!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 10:29 pm:

Couldn't you send an announcement instead of an ivitation?? Kind of like a birth announcement. An invitation would imply you are inviting and announcement would be announcing.. Something like,

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
have the pleasure of announcing
the Bar Mitzvah
of their son, John

Saturday, the eighteenth of July

Temple Israel
Sunny Side, Ohio

The family request that
you keep John in your prayers
on this very special day."

Better wording of course but taking the invite out of the whole deal..

By Bea on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 02:26 am:

Especially since you live in a resort town and the celebration is on a holiday weekend, who knows who might surprise you and show up. I'd say invite all that you can accommodate, and wait and see.