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Tattling on herself?

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Tattling on herself?
By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 06:29 pm:

Why? Is it another attempt for more attention? I mean, she's done this since before Nathan was born. She tells on herself all the time, most of the times it's things I may never notice. She'll tell me "I didn't play with the camera" which means she did. Of course, the evidence being the pictures shes taken. Everything beginning with "I didn't" is something she's just done. Taking snacks, messing up her room, playing in the water in the bathroom. Is this a normal "tattling" stage? I mean, it helps me out because she tells me everything I don't catch her doing. But what's the deal?

By Colette on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 09:45 pm:

Sounds like she's looking for attention. Hugs Melissa, I will never forget how hard it was to go from 1 to 2.

If it's any consolation going from 2-3 is a piece of cake.

By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 10:18 pm:

If I ever go from 2-3 I want someone to shoot me! LOL! :) How much more attention can I give her? I've really been paying attention to her and making sure to include her in most everything.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 10:23 pm:

Maybe looking for attention OR maybe she is looking for an outlet. Would you consider placing her into preschool a few mornings?

I was always a SAHM but I always put my children in preschool for a few hours a week. It allowed me to focus on the child/ren that were home and gave the child at "school" a learning experience. Plus your dd will make new friends and have something to talk to you about, besides what she is getting into at home. :)

By Tink on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 11:59 pm:

I wonder if this is more a case of a "guilty conscience" and she's feeling badly for the things she's done so she's letting you know. Is she doing these forbidden things more often so she can tell you and get the attention or is this regular behavior that she's telling you about before you just "discover" it? If it's the latter, I'd say "Yes, Kaitlyn. You did play in the water in the bathroom and you aren't supposed to do that. Now you have to help me clean it up (hand her a towel) and we can't read a book (or whatever) now like I wanted to do with you."

And, if this is an attention issue and you are including her in everything as you've said, maybe she needs some time when she's not just being included but where she is the center of attention. Can she be enrolled in a dance class or tumbling where she gets to be the star of the family for that time?

By Luvn29 on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 07:46 am:

I TOTALLY agree with Tink. That was my first thought, a guilty conscience. Both of my children are this way, only they come right out and tell me what they did. All the time, and they always have. They are now 10 and 7. Neither one of them can stand to do something they shouldn't. They don't do it often, but when they do, and it's always something minor, they tell me before I even know. My dd has even said "I lied about.... I did do it, say it, etc."

Thankfully they have grown up with a very good conscience and I really do believe it will continue with them. It is just their personality.

I also agree with maybe finding something for Kaitlyn to be the star in. Emily was three when Ashton was born. Even though we included her in everything, she still needed the time to be "the only one". I enrolled her in baton and dance (it was a combined class) and I took her to it, often without her little brother. She thoroughly enjoyed the time in the car with me alone there and back, and the fact that something was "just hers".

Count yourself lucky that you may just be raising a little girl with a very good conscience. :)

By Kaye on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 08:25 am:

And let me add...this is in the most loving voice here melissa. Quit feeling guitly! It is tough to go from one to two, but some of that is brought on by your own guilt. You really have given Katie the best gift you could ever offer her. She doesn't realize now, but she will. You really have to learn to not stress over the small stuff. This is an odd phase, but it is normal. Part of it is the good conscience I am sure, but part of it is just about exploring her world, her language and your reactions. Personally I would probably just ignore those sentences. This too shall pass, and then hold on for the next phase.

I will say, that I just about went crazy going from one to two, it changed my whole idea on parenting. By time I had three (which wasn't in my plan, darn BC), I just didn't think I would make it. But by time he got here, it was sooo easy.

Part of the adjustment is learning that it is okay not to have one child the center of your universe and them figuring it out that you still love them.

By Breann on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 12:51 pm:

My little boy is 4, and he still does this occasionally. I think it's like the others said, a guilty conscience. He knows that he did something wrong and that he should be getting in trouble for it. So, he tells me that he didn't do it so I know he did, lol. He seems to feel better after I give him a good talking to about why he shouldn't have done it. I think it's just a childs need for order and discipline. Makes them feel protected.

By Cat on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 03:21 pm:

Ditto everyone else. Kids know when they've done something they weren't supposed to. I had one little guy I watched (2yo) who would put himself in time-out. Then I'd have to go find what he'd done! He was scary smart, but non-verbal. He always kept me on my toes. :)


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