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Appropriate for a 4th grader?

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Appropriate for a 4th grader?
By Dana on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 07:34 pm:

My daughter is reading the book "Red Kayak" by Priscilla Cummings.

She brought this book to my attention because of the numerous accounts of "bad words."

Now I know when I read a book that uses rough language it always makes me ready with a bump when I get to those words. I don't speak that way, and I don't like reading those words. Every once in a while, I can over look it.

However, DD says she can turn to almost any page and find a "bad word" At first she quite reading the book and choose another. But now she is back to this book and deciding if she even wants to read it because of the use of language.

It is a scholastic book that she was given via the RIF program. I don't want to censure the books, but I don't think books with this use of language is appropriate for this age group.

What do you think?

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 08:26 pm:

Hmmm. I haven't read the book, but Amazon lists it as appropriate for grades 6-9. Sounds like one to maybe put away for later?

By Debbie on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 08:44 pm:

I think there are enough good books, without reading one with bad language. I probably wouldn't let me 3rd or 5th grader read it right now. I agree, I would put it away for later.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 08:58 pm:

My gut says even the mildest of "bad words" is too much for a 4th grader, IMHO, and I'm very liberal about that kind of thing. (I use colorful language, but my kids know they are grown-up words, and even still, I would wonder how appropriate a book is for that age group)

What kind of "bad words" are we talking about here, and in what context? Really, the only way I could understand it is if it were something like Shakespeare, or another true classic piece, and even then only something like "He was behaving like an a-$."

By Dana on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 09:06 pm:

You nailed it with your last quote. I had to laugh when I read what you wrote, you are so on target. A few pages into the book is another use of "the water is dam@ cold"

My daughter also described the word "shut up" as being as strong of language as the one you mention. I had to smile with that, as a mom trying to teach right and wrong :)

At least I'm not a prude in thinking a 10 yr old should not have to read this language. I'm happy to see I'm not alone.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 10:45 pm:

See, for that age, I think the quote about the water is just not needed... I think the one I used about behavior is more acceptable, but there are so many other adjectives one could use to describe coldness. And that's cure about her saying "shut up" was one of the "bad" parts! :)

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - 10:56 pm:

I never liked hearing my kids say, "Shut up!" "Please be quiet" is just so much nicer. That does sound like rough language for a 10yo. Maybe not a middle schooler, like Amazon says. Kind of PG-13.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - 07:39 am:

I'm going to get the book from my library if I can, just to see. But, a few thoughts cross my mind. One is that if your daughter is bothered by the language, and you are bothered by it - and that both of you are bothered is obvious by your posts - it isn't an appropriate book for her.

My second thought is that clearly you are raising your daughter with what many today would consider "strict" behavioral standards, for which I applaud you. I was a strict mom, and my sons all tell me that it paid off.

The third is that this is a teaching moment, and you are taking advantage of the moment to discuss the book and the language, and what makes a word bad or not, with your daughter - and I applaud you for that also.

By Dana on Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - 08:13 am:

The "a-$" phrase that DD pointed out was after two kids are are discusing their skin and being out in the sun. It starts with ".....and I'll have, like, this perfect skin." "Yeah, like a baby's a-$"

They are using these words as a kid would use these words. So not like Shakespear, LOL.

And yes, Ginny. We have had discussions from the get go. I didn't even allow her to watch many Disney movies because of their attitude that shows thru their words. She was well into 2nd grade when I let her watch them, since I was certain I knew she knew the difference between how WE speak and how media uses words.

Now however, at the ripe old age of 10 her attitude comes out LOUD AND CLEAR!!!! At least she doesn't curse.

Now my 3 yr old??? Not such a good report. I catch him saying "dam* it!" ALL the time. At first I thought I heard him wrong. Not sure how to nip that in the bud. If we make too much to do about it, he'll just do it on purpose. So I try to just fit it in when I can. He is now asking "is 'what ever' a bad word?" "is 'oh man' a bad word?" and he ALWAYS has to ask the final question "is 'dam# it' a bad word?" He heard his Daddy say one time when something he was working on broke, and it stuck in his brain like tar.

KIDS! :)

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - 08:22 am:

My dd is in fourth grade and I would take it away and give it back in a few years.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - 08:24 am:

This book was on a list for her? Wow. The "perfect skin like a baby's a-$" thing does sound like a little kid exploring foul language, because even an adult who uses cuss words would say "baby's bottom"!

By Dana on Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - 09:31 am:

Okay, I read the reviews at Amazon. It looks like a good book with some great thought provoking moment. But not for our family at this age. Definitely older when teens start making really stupid choices without thinking it thru. So, off to the bookshelf it goes. It might be one we read together in a couple years.


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