We decided to take Lara swimming at our local community pool yesterday. We like to go on Sundays because the pool is not as crowded and mostly families. My dd loves the water but is fearful at the same time, so we are slowly teaching her how to swim. It was my turn in the pool with Lara and soon after we entered the shallow pool(3.5 feet), a young girl the same height as Lara joined us on the steps. She was very friendly and once she saw me teaching Lara to swim, asked if I would teach her. I told her I needed to stay close to Lara and watch her closely. Still she persisted to the point she would jump off the pool steps and hang on to me while I was holding on to my dd. I was getting annoyed and asked where her parents might be. She said her dad was in the bleachers next to the pool. Finally, dd and I were both overwhelmed by this little girl's persistence. We got out of the pool. Soon after we left she went on to another mom and her toddler son and repeated the same behavior. I later talked to this mom who informed me the little girl, age seven, unable to swim, was there alone. Her dad left her after watching her in the water for a half an hour. This little girl could not stand in the shallow pool, so she hung out on the steps waiting for others to help her navigate in the water. I was dumbfounded. How could a parent leave their young child completely alone at a pool? No older sister or brother, no one to watch over her, she was completely alone. Even if she were able to swim, how could anyone do this? I was so upset I went to talk to the lifeguards on duty. They told me the rules of the pool were age 6 and under must be accompanied by a swimming adult. There was nothing they could do. And after all, the lifeguard reminded me, at least the little girl was a "social little gal".

I feel so badly for this little girl. Her father was using her time at the pool for running errands. When he arrived to pick her up hours later, I had to stop myself from getting out of the pool and saying something to him. My dh reminded me it would do no good. He would probably become defensive and angry. This little girl could have easily been taken by a stranger. She's the type that seemed to have few boundaries when it comes to strangers. Or, she could have easily drowned. The lifeguards had many children to watch that afternoon.

Thank you for letting me vent. I'm still so upset about this! Our children are so precious. This little girl deserves to be taken care of.

By Luvn29 on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 10:10 pm:

I think you need to speak to the manager about the rules of the pool. Only six and under have to have a parent? What???? I have never seen a pool where you don't have to be at least 12 to be without adult supervision.

INSANE!!!

There's a little girl from our school that is almost six. She's very mentally disabled. To the point that she is in the special education room. Her mother is also mentally incompetent. She had a baby that died when the power went out at their house due to a winter storm because she didn't know to keep it warm.

She is married to a man who obviously has a problem seeing as how he has a sexual relationship with a woman who is only as competent as a child. He takes both of them and drops them off at the pool and leaves them all day. The mother is not able to watch over her, and the little girl is not able to take care of herself, so it is up to the other moms in the pool. Sad situation.

By Emily7 on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 11:41 pm:

I would have called the police, that is just the way I am. How can that not be considering abandoning the little girl, even if it just for a few hours? Does he not realize that they are sick people out there? I also would talk to the manager about the rules, because that just doesn't seem right to me. I am guessing they wouldn't want to be held responsible if someone walked off with the little girl & if they are aware that he does this in my mind they are just as guilty as the dad.
Gosh what a cheap babysitting service.
I don't know how you held your tongue, I would not have been able to.

By Nicki on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 12:27 am:

Emily, that's what I was thinking today. I mean, if a parent left a seven year old alone at a park, I would call the police. It seems people tend to think of the lifeguards as some type of child care service. Like my dh reminded me, they are only there to uphold the pool rules and keep swimmers safe in the pool.

Adena, I feel the same about the age cut off at this pool. I also think one's ability in the water should be taken into consideration. This little girl may have been seven, but she was no taller than my dd who will be six. And she could not handle herself in the water any better than Lara.

I am going to call tomorrow and talk to someone in charge. This is a pool at our local recreation department. I'll see how far I get. I guess I can't make this dad a better one, but maybe I can influence a change in the rules for the sake of this little girl and others like her.

Thank you both for validating my feelings. I tried to talk to my dh, but he isn't as worked up about this as I am! Some things I just can't let go.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 02:10 am:

I would go see the manager of the facility tomorrow. You did the right thing by not talking with the dad. He obviously doesn't see anything wrong with what he did by leaving his child there alone.
The lifeguard may have misunderstood you. He/she might have thought that the parent was not in the pool with the child but was sitting on a chair.
The pool needs to change their policies that no child, under the age of 12, let's say, be left unattended at the pool or grounds.
I would be sure to follow up on this one. You may save this little girl's life or others like her, that have gone unnoticed that they were left unattended.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 06:26 am:

When he arrived "hours later"??? I'm with everyone else - this is inexcusable. You aren't going to change the father, but maybe you can get the rules changed. Over 6 but under 12 (or maybe 10) is much too young to be unsupervised for several hours. By "unsupervised", I mean not supervised by a person or people whose job it is to supervise the child. At school teachers do that, but they are responsible only for the children in their class in a fairly controlled setting. At the pool the lifeguards are watching everyone and it is not a controlled setting. And the lifeguard doesn't see the danger in this little girl being "a sociable sort". I'm amazed the lifeguards don't see the danger of her going into a pool, even the shallow pool, where she can't stand up but has to hang on the side.

If a 7 year old girl was dropped off at a mall by her father and left for several hours, mall security would have taken her into custody within an hour or two and called the police, and the father would be, minimally, given a very had time, and might even be charged with neglect.

And you know that if, heaven forbid, something happened to that little girl, her father would sue the pool management and the municipality. I agree, you should try to get the pool management to change their rules to require adult supervision of a child or children until a much older age. Remind them of the liability issues if this 7 year old girl drowned - I'm sure their insurance company would understand.

By Vicki on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 07:07 am:

I think I would have called the police also. Someone has to be responsible for these kids while they are there. Does the pool assume the responsibility?

By Texannie on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 08:24 am:

at our neighborhood pools the age is 10 and up and they must be able to swim (they have to prove it to the lifeguard) to be without a parent. the pools are also very careful to be in the correct red cross approved ratio.
i would talk to the management. i can't imagine what kind of insurance policy they have that allows that kind of liability.

By Rayelle on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 09:28 am:

That is so sad. I wonder if the girls mom knows what is going on. I'm not aware of the rules of our local pool but dh and I are both the type that our kids aren't in the backyard unless we're watching. I live in deathly fear of them being taken. I can't imagine dropping my kids off at the pool especially one that can't swim.

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 11:36 am:

You know what, I think immediately of the major dangers, but then I got to thinking about who makes sure this little girl drinks something and doesn't dehydrate. Or who reapplies sunblock on her? Even the simplest things like these!

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 01:04 pm:

Nicki, I suggest that instead of (or in addition to) calling the community pool management AND your local government, I would also send a letter. Calls often don't get recorded (i.e., notes taken) or the complaint in them forwarded to the right people, but letters always get attention because they leave a trail. And the reason I would contact the local government people (especially the "risk management" office) is because they are the people who will get hit if someone files a lawsuit.

In the letter I would describe the events of that day, as you did above, and what the lifeguard said to you about the father leaving the 7 year old girl there alone, and express your concerns not only for the child, but also for the pool's and local government's liability if, God forbid, something happened.

By Nicki on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 06:03 pm:

Thank you everyone for your replies. Talking with all of you helped me get my thoughts in order before I went to see management today. I talked to the aquatic director. She seemed to know why I was there before I even started. She told me she had heard about the incident first thing Monday from her lifeguards. Then she has had several calls from other concerned moms who were at the pool on Sunday. When I point blank asked what the rule was about leaving a young child completely alone at the pool, unsupervised, she really couldn't give me a straight answer. She said I would be surprised how many parents simply pay the swim fee and leave their young ones at the entrance. She made the point that maybe the children were better off left alone at the pool rather than the park just yards away from the pool. I told her if I had found her alone at the park, I would have called the police, and she agreed, she would do the same. I then asked her if her lifeguards are then responsible for the welfare of the child, and if so, aren't they concerned about liability? Again, she really couldn't answer me. She did agree with me that there needs to be some stipulation as far as a child's swimming ability. She commented that if this child was indeed able to swim, leaving her alone would not have been an issue and I would have never been aware this little girl was left alone. I don't know, I came away feeling like I didn't really accomplish much. She said that they were "working" on it, "looking in to it" and thanked me for caring.

Ginny, thank you for advice. I think you are right, I need to follow up with a letter.

I do feel good knowing there's an awful lot of good caring moms out there. I know they're here at Momsview, but now I know there were some caring ones swimming at our local pool as well.

Thank you all, again.

By Texannie on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 06:07 pm:

sadly, she has a point...if the child hadn't come up to you asking for swim lessons, would you have (or the other moms) even had noticed this child?

By Nicki on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 06:25 pm:

It is sad, because I'm thinking that little ones may be left alone quite often, and the only reason it doesn't become an issue for the management is because others aren't aware they are unsupervised.

I guess I don't understand why the pool management is so reluctant to make a rule and stick to it. I mean, I know it's sad when an establishment must set down specific rules so "some" parents act in a responsible manner. Yet, still, for the sake of the children, there should be a rule to protect these kids.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 07:06 pm:

I suggest that the pool management doesn't want to see a drop in swim fees - which is why I suggested writing to the municipality as well. If this is a "public" pool, taxpaper supported more or less, the municipality has responsibility for its management and rules, and if something awful happens, the municipality will be on the line for liability. And, find out in advance who heads the "risk management" section of your municipality - that is, who are the municipal authorities or lawyers who become involved if an accident occurs and a claim is made. Those are the people who need to be made aware of the situation. And, when the municipalities insurance company conducts an audit, as they probably do periodically, that letter can show up.