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Would you let a 10 year old girl wear high heels?

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2005: Would you let a 10 year old girl wear high heels?
By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 08:44 pm:

I was at the grocery store yesterday and there was a mother/daughter duo looking at DVD's, etc. She was wearing a tight fitting pink shirt with some sort of "saying" on it (nothing in the chest area yet), a short skirt (you know how those layered 80's skirts are making a comeback) and then these really really high heels with sparkly pink butterflies on them. She also had some make up on and her hair was sort of "mullet-ish" and pulled back into a ponytail.

Now, when I saw her, my mouth just dropped with shock. I can understand if you're in a play or something, but man...if she dresses like this now, what would she dress like when she's 16? Wow. I don't even think I was allowed to shave my legs until I was 12. I think I'm still in shock.

By My2cuties on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:09 pm:

When I first seen this post I thought hmmm, my 3 year old wears high heel now (pumps). But really really high heels are a different story. Wow, I let Katelyn wear lip gloss but that's all. I am not sure how I feel, I would have had to see her myself.

By Jelygu on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:09 pm:

Yeah... it always amazes me the way girls are dressed today. I certainly wouldn't allow my daughter to wear that!

By Jann on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:11 pm:

Well, my dd started shaving her legs when she was 10 cause she is very hairy with dark hair, so hope that doesn't make her fast! LOL ;)
My dd is 11. She has some of those high heels that are mostly play but occassionally will wear them out. And she even wears lip gloss and sometimes eye shadow. She's not allowed to have her stomach showing. Sometimes her shirts are a little too tight cause she is in a major growth spurt right now and body changing mode. I think I know which skirts you are talking about, and she has tons of them. I love them because they all have shorts built in under them.

By Jann on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:12 pm:

are you talking the platform shoes or like spikey pumps???
the kids here are all wearing the platforms.

By Heaventree on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:20 pm:

No!

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 09:34 pm:

No way! I think young girls can look hip and still look like girls and not women! I'm amazed when I see the types of clothes that are being sold now for young girls. Everything is too small, hanging out, and often has suggestive logos. Ridiculous!

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 11:31 pm:

I don't think my girls would want to dress like that. My 15.5 yo still doesn't wear make-up. Neither does my new 13yo. They just aren't interested.

The 15.5 yo did start shaving her legs and arms, when she was 11, almost 12 (bday in August), because she really needed to! It was obvious. I think I showed her how, at the beginning of the summer.

By Tink on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 11:37 pm:

I'm not sure that it is the high heels that would have made me stop and stare but more the impression that the whole outfit seems to give off. I'm pretty strict with what I would let my dd wear but she prefers the jogging outfits and cute tee's to anything else. Lucky me!

By Kim on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 07:55 am:

I am with Jann.....Kayla will be 7 on the 1st and she LOVES the big chunky heel sandals....one pair even has a heart shape cutout in the heel. They are "high" but they are still for young girls. A "heel" heel? No, not unless for church and very low.

By Kaye on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 08:27 am:

I have an 11 year old girl. And I have to say well maybe..LOL. What I have noticed is at this age in particular age is so hard to guess, I have two neices that look just like my dd in age, one goes to high school next year, one is in 7th. I think it would be okay for them. So my first thought is you are probably off on the age of this child. But also I know that we have one of those short skirts, it has built in shorts, so I don't see it as an issue. The shorts they have these day are so short anyway. My dd has really struggled with self esteem, I try to let her wear what she wants as long as it looks decent, if she feels pretty it effects her whole world. 6th grade is the age here when girls start wearing make up. Really it is a non issue for me, as long as it isn't thick. I just think back to when I was this age, I had my style, I dressed horrific..but my parents let me, I wasn't fast, and it got out of my system long before college.

By Debbie on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:05 am:

I don't have girls. Thank God! But, I think it would depend on the shoe. There are some really cute kid heels and then there are grown up heels. I have seen some girls in some very cute shoes with chuncky heels.

By Jann on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:09 am:

Have you been to places like Payless and looked at the shoes? I can wear kids size 4 and they have higher heels than some of the adult size 6's! LOL
Kim, those big chunky heels just crack me up when I see the girls where them with soft pretty dresses at church. So far, I won't let dd wear them there.
Kaye, I agree. Those skirts are 10 times better than some of those short shorts in the stores!

By Cat on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:20 am:

Yet another reason I'm glad I have boys. :)

By Bellajoe on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 10:31 am:

The way you describe her, it sounds like she looked like a 1980's prostitute! So NO of course i would't let my dd dress like that.

My dd is 5 and i don't put her in heels, only because she would break her ankle trying to walk in them. She does have little tiny heels on her Easter shoes though. Let little girls look like little girls, they have the rest of their lives to look like adults.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 11:03 am:

I think it depends on how the outfit is put together. I just bought a few of those "frilly" skirts for Spring but I bought them a size bigger so they would be longer on me. They do make them quite short. But I usually coordinate it with a pastel color t-shirt that covers my tummy and cleavage. My rule is that I can show leg or cleavage but never at the same time, and never show tummy. And never too much cleavage that would make DH feel weird. :) As far as Kaitlyn, she owns a pair of what I consider "heels". I bought them from Walmart and they were selling them in the shoes section but DD uses them for play since she can't walk right in a heel, lol. But there have been times when I let her wear them out because she likes to tap in them like a tap dancer and it keeps her busy while i'm shopping. Here's a pic:
heel

As far as a real high heel, I doubt i'd let her do that. But you have to remember that around 12 or so, they get into the fashions and if you lead them the right way and show them what's "trendy" and what "hooker-ish" they can still be in style without flaunting what little of a body they have. I love dressing trendy/fashionable but also with a bit of class. I doubt you'd see me dressed like Jillian Barberie but I do like fashion and I coordinate it to what looks best on me.

By Meltonmom on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 12:43 pm:

I just took my two dds (5 and 8) shopping for their spring clothes. We went to Kohl's. Kohl's carries Evergirl fashions and my girls were wanting some Evergirl clothes so I told them we would take a look.

In my opinion, these clothes look like outfits for miniature ladies of the evening....and they are overpriced as well. My dds picked out a pink/orange/purple psycadelic patterned polyester shirt (29.99 EACH) and some hip hugger jeans-barely covering the private area- with pink flowers embroired on them (also 29.99 a pair!). But ****BIG FAKE MOMMY SIGH AND LOOK OF REGRET****Would you BELIEVE IT Kohl's didn't carry in of those outfits in my daughter's sizes! (wink wink) so we just had to be satisfied with going next door to Old Navy and Target and buying some cute jeans trimmed in pink and some pink flowered t-shirts and Barbie tennis shoes....oh well....

:-) (sneaky Mommy smile!) :-)

MM

By Jann on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 12:54 pm:

Really? You didn't like Kohl's? I find it's one of the few places that is reasonable (great sales) and fairly few sleay clothes (but my dd isn't in the junior section yet). I like Target too. I like Old Navy too but think that's rather expensive. Unfortunately, The Gap is the only place that has jeans/capris that really fit my dd well (you think Old Navy's would, but they don't)
All these stores must be hit and missed.

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 01:19 pm:

I am sure she was at the age of 10...I used to teach 12 and 13 year olds and she was not even close.
And, personally, I don't think that "shorts" under those skirts matter. What matters is that they are too short. If someone can see those shorts underneath then again, they are still too short.

I guess I'm a pain in the butt when it comes to girls fashions. It's amazing what they will produce at such small sizes. I just wouldn't want my daughter looking "trashy" like she did. The whole outfit, including the heels just made me shake my head.
I guess this should be put on the "kitchen table debate board", but it just seemed like she didn't have any inner confidence. I was always involved in sports, was quite the tomboy, yet still could look classy and pretty if I wanted to. It just gives boys the wrong message. Especially older ones who might "prey" on the younger ones with little self esteem.
aaaahhhh...thank God I have a boy, for now.

By Jann on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 01:36 pm:

If you can't see anything, how are they too short? They are actually longer than alot of the shorts out there (especially athletic shorts), but I guess since it's a skirt it gives the appearance as being shorter maybe??
Guess not seeing the outfit definitely makes a difference.

By Luvn29 on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 04:05 pm:

I'm 25 myself and have an eight year old. She has stylish clothing, but she has very tasteful clothing.

She can wear chunky heeled sandals in the summer, as long as they aren't too high, but never any real heels.

I want her to look cute, and feel good about herself, but I don't want her to think she has to dress in short skirts and sleazy tops to feel good about herself.

She wears shortish shorts sometimes, but never anything that will show anything if she bends over or such.

I guess the problem that some have with those skirts that have the shorts underneath is others don't know there are shorts underneath, so to them, it just looks like very short skirts.

And no make-up for mine, except lip gloss and sometimes a little of the glitter powder.

Kids are being allowed to grow up way too quickly and to me, if they are going to be allowed to grow up in that way, then mentally and "physically" they may grow up too quickly, also.


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