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The neediness is driving me crazy!! Vent

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: The neediness is driving me crazy!! Vent
By Reds9298 on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 04:04 pm:

Is that even a word? Anyway, OMG!!!!!!!!! Natalie has been so needy and clingy to me, only me, for the last couple of weeks. It's like all of a sudden the idea of "being a big girl" is fun and terrible all at the same time. I can't move an inch without her there, begging for a hug or to do something else with her. (Believe me, we do PLENTY together during the day) She's always been just as much of a Daddy's girl as she is Mommy's, but she wants little to do with Daddy these days either. He can't console her after a bad dream at night, cure a boo-boo, or solve any problems. ONLY ME apparently, and I'm getting smothered. She's so fragile...I'm talking we're at the pumpkin patch, put one down for another, and she started crying because she didn't want to leave that one behind. This morning DH changed shirts, I made the comment, "Oh, I loved that shirt. Wear that one". He replies, "No I like this one better" and she fell apart because he wasn't wearing the original shirt. Hello??!

Yesterday afternoon, I went out to mow (a 45min. quickie job yesterday). DH was in the house with Natalie. Turns out she cried for Mommy almost the entire time. What is that about? She normally welcomes the idea of if just being Nat and Daddy.

She's into everything, cries at the drop of a hat, is constantly spilling food or making a mess at mealtimes,whiney, and occasionally throwing a fit with "No!" back to me, you name it.I feel very frustrated with her, then feel guilty about it.

I know she's going through a phase of being caught in-between, but it's getting to me. Two weeks of feeling like I can't get away from her without a battle of some kind ("Mommy, I want you to stay, Don't go, I love you," that kind of thing). You would have thought this child had been left alone for a whole day somewhere.

She's not letting DH take over like he always has before with basic need-type things. It's getting to me. :(

By Kaye on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 04:36 pm:

Deanna, this is just the age. It will pass. Just continue to keep doing what you are doing. YOu have to be out of her sight and it is okay. Just keep reminding her that you love her, and that mommy always comes back.

On a side note, almost all kids go through this to some extent. It often falls when a new sibling is brought home, which adds all kinds of stress. On that note, have yall added anything lately? A pet, a new hobby or job? It could be she is feeling "left out" of something.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 05:25 pm:

Maybe she is feeling the difference between being at home with you 24/7 vs. preschool?

Connor went through the same thing and still does prefer me over daddy. I think Scott going to Afghanistan made it worse though.
{{HUGS}}

By Kate on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 06:27 pm:

I don't recall loving the age of four very much....

By Bellajoe on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 06:40 pm:

I can't remember how old Natalie is, but with that description I'm guessing she is three?

I'm sorry that I don't have any suggestions for you! The DAY my dd turned 3 she became very clingy. I'm not kidding, i couldn't go to the bathroom with the door closed when we were home alone together.She would freak out!

((HUGS)) this too shall pass

By Reds9298 on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 08:33 pm:

Thanks guys. :) Yep, she turned 3 in June. I knew what my husband refers to as the "Jedi Council" would understand! LOL

Patti-Amen to that one! She literally fell apart today when I went to the bathroom without her. Sat outside the door and cried. Oh boy.
Heidi- I really think that's it.
Kaye - Like you said, I've tried to think of something new that we have added/done. The only thing is preschool and that's been 2 months ago. She does fantastic there, never sheds a tear or seems concerned. Loves it. BUT, I think she knows that the idea of her being in school means she's a big girl. I think she realizes that someone other than mom is "taking care of her" for certain times throughout the week (preschool) and that she's on her own. Probably still trying to figure out exactly what that means in her little life.

I really think it's a conflict of "I like being big, but I just want my mom". I know she's really wanting to make sure that just because she's growing up doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. It's just a P-A-I-N. I feel like I continually reassure. I know it will pass, but this weekend has been one emotion after another with her, so it's been even worse.

This too shall pass...

By Mommmie on Monday, October 15, 2007 - 09:18 pm:

When my son was going through that I called him The Cling-On.


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