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New Counselor

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Children with Special Needs: New Counselor
By Cat on Saturday, July 19, 2008 - 10:28 am:

We're trying yet again a new counselor. I actually took Robin to a psychologist last week and he was really annoyed. He asked why I keep taking him to different therapists. I told him because I wanted to find someone he liked and could talk to. Well, this girl wasn't it. I have an appointment with her next week, but she's already said if Robin doesn't want to see her it won't do any good. That's fine. I'll get tips for school (she's a former special ed teacher and she's going to give me suggestions for his IEP) and then we won't go back. Anyway, there's a guy at the gym I joined last month who's a counselor. He's on staff at the gym one day a week and he came in to talk to our metabolism makeover class last week. A few of us were talking to him after class and he said he currently works at a prison and is getting his own business up and running. I told him if he ever decided to work with teens to let me know. He said he's actually worked with teens in the past and he loves it. He asked me to tell him about Robin so I did, and he asked if he could work with him. He said he doesn't do conventional therapy, like in an office. He said especially for teens he likes to get them outdoors or in the gym or something. So he actually came out to our house yesterday for their first therapy session! He and Robin went out and played basketball in the rain until it got to raining too hard. Then they came in and went downstairs and worked out with our weight bench. When *B* left Robin said he liked him. He's NEVER said that about a counselor before!!! I did talk to *B* last night and he said the first several sessions will be building a rapport with Robin. He said they'll do like 90/10 rapport building/therapy, and then start doing 80/20, then 70/30, etc. I think it helps that *B*'s a really down to earth guy, he's young and he's got several piercings and a really cool tattoo! lol (we did compare, and I have one more piercing than he does, though so I still have that "cool" factor! rofl). *B* said he's really excited to be working with Robin. We do have to deal with the insurance and everything (he's an out of network provider so we have to pay and then try to get reimbursed) but if it helps it's worth it. Dh said he was younger than he thought he'd be (he's 33, but looks even younger than that), but that he seemed cool. *B* told Robin he'd take him to the gym one of these times. Robin thought that was cool. The owner of the gym is cool with it as long as we sign a waiver for him to work out. If Robin likes working out I can add a membership for him for only $20 a month (unlimited gym time and classes). Not too bad!

So hopefully we've finally found something!!! :) It's a good feeling. :)

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, July 19, 2008 - 11:23 am:

Hopefully he will be able to help you all... :) Good for Robin, that the guy isn't wanting just to sit in an office. Best of luck and many prayers..

By Tarable on Saturday, July 19, 2008 - 11:00 pm:

That is awesome..

I am in the market for a new counselor for Jordan.. The one she is going to doesn't seem to be doing anything at all, except listen to her complain about her older sister. Hello.. I have talked to her about 6 times about Jordan's constant lying and she hasn't even brought it up or that is what Jordan says anyway. The thing I don't like about her is she doesn't talk to me at all.. Is that normal? I don't know if they talk about anything.. Jordan won't tell me and when I try to talk to her she just seems to act as if I shouldn't want to know.. I don't care if Jordan is telling her things she doesn't like about me.. she doesn't have to tell me the specifics but to not tell me anything makes me wonder if they actually do anything in there for an hour a week...

Sorry to take over our post..
I hope this is the right guy for you.. Good luck!!!

By Cat on Sunday, July 20, 2008 - 11:22 am:

Tara, it's pretty common for counselors to not tell the parents much. I've found that with just about every one we've seen. They're trying to build trust with the child and if they go blabbing everything to the parents they won't get that trust. She/he should be able to tell you general things, though, like how it's going and if they're making progress. *B* has said he'll give me a general idea on how it's going. He actually thanked me for the oppertunity to work with Robin and said he's enjoyed the one time already and is looking forward to more sessions. It is a little different experience in that I know him personally and we see each other about 2-3 times a week at the gym. We're actually working on a project together along with some of the other gym members and the owner. It's a little weird for me, but I think it's a good thing. Too bad you're not here. I'm sure *B* would love to help out with Jordan. Hugs

By Kaye on Sunday, July 20, 2008 - 02:31 pm:

Okay Cat...just some mommy advice here..LOL.

I think this idea sounds really great. However I also see it as a real chance for abuse. Make sure you have really checked out his background and references and just remember there is a line between therapist and friend.

I say this because I had a coach who was molesting several boys at my school. We were all such good friends and he was all about building rapport with us. I am not saying this is the case. But I am saying I was a good kid, who mostly made good choices and only in hindsight did I notice the signs. He was ever so clever about it.

Anyway, just want you to keep your hackles up, I know robin liking him is a HUGE thing, but don't forget to still watch!

On that, Tarable, with my dd her therapist did talk with me. She met with both of us for the first couple of sessions. Then we went in together, I had 5 mintues, then they talked for 35 minutes, then we had 10 minutes together and talked over some action items. She explained to my dd in front of me, that although there was some privacy in what she said, that as her mother I had a need to know how to help her. So she had to share some of her thoughts with me, so that we could work together.

By Cat on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 10:13 am:

Not a problem, Kaye. Believe me, as much as I like *B* and trust him, I am keeping an eye on them and Robin (behaviors and such). You just never know. :)

By Kaye on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 04:01 pm:

I knew you would..LOL. But sometimes we get so excited to see something working we overlook the obvious!

glad to hear about the school placement...woo hoo!

By Tink on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 12:34 am:

Keeping my fingers crossed for a great experience for all involved!


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