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Not So Good Update On My Six Year Old Grandson

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Children with Special Needs: Not So Good Update On My Six Year Old Grandson
By Gammiejoan on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 12:41 pm:

Some of you may remember some of the issues we have had with my six-year old grandson. Basically we have known since he was a young toddler that he definitely has sensory integrative disorder. He underwent a multi-disciplinary evaluation a couple years ago. At that time we were told that he met some of the criteria for Aspergers, but they suggested that his parents consider taking him to a clinic that specializes in that disorder. His parents declined to go that route at the time for a variety of reasons. Last school year he was in a pre-school program in a public school setting. He was in a regular classroom but received specialized services. By the way, he has been given I.Q testing; and he scored at 145. Last year at school his behavior was very unpredictable. He would be calm and compliant one minute and aggressive and out of control the next. He never hit anyone but would scream and verbally threaten them. As a result of this behavior, the other children were afraid of him and didn't wish to have much to do with him even when he was well behaved. This really saddened us because we knew that he wanted to have friends. Toward the end of the school year his behavior was becoming more appropriate. He was placed in a regular kindergarten classroom this school year. His teacher has done an excellent job with him, and he was flourishing in this setting. After the first couple months of school, he seldom had disruptive behavior. He began to make friends and seemed well liked by most of his peers. He became especially close with four of the children in his room. Then during the past couple of weeks, his behavior started to regress. He became verbally aggressive and impatient with the other children, and the other children are starting to withdraw from him again. Most of his problems at school seem to center around his obsessive-compulsive tendencies and his perfectionistic attitude. During center time, he wants to control all the other children's activities. He believes that he knows what's best for everyone, and he doesn't believe that anyone but him knows how to do things correctly. If they don't do as he directs them, he becomes extremely upset and threatens them. His parents had decided at the end of last school year not to put him on medication but to wait and see how he did. Until just recently, their decision seemed to be a good one; and even now I'm not sure if medication is the correct course of action. Thanks for allowing me to vent. If any of you have any suggestions or comments, I would be glad to hear them.

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 01:37 pm:

I have no suggestions, but offer my support to your family. I cannot imagine how stressful this is for everyone, especially him! I hope he gets the right course of treatment, and things improve. ((((Joan)))

By Annie2 on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 03:05 pm:

I'm going to throw this out there. My kids are not special needs but two of my kids have severe seasonal allergies. When they have them they do not act like the same kids. With spring in the air, do you think this might be a factor? Again, just a thought.
I hope things get better for you gs. :)

By Gammiejoan on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 10:52 pm:

Annie, I'm very interested in your comments about the behavioral changes in your children during allergy season. Just this afternoon my dil was telling me about a discussion she had today with Justin's teacher. The teacher was wondering if Justin's behavior could be related to his seasonal allergies. School started here in early August. In August and September his behavior was very disruptive, but in October it started improving and got better and better until he began regressing again a few weeks ago. Thinking back on it, I do believe that his behavior last school year followed the same pattern.

By Lauram on Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 06:44 pm:

I know we've talked about similarities in the past, but just to remind you, my seven year old son has Tourette's, ADHD, Sensory integration disorder, anxiety (probably going to be given a general anxiety disorder diagnosis and OCD diagnosis soon- we're working on that). He also is probably academically gifted. I wouldn't be surprised if he tested at a 145 IQ or higher. (I don't say that lightly- I do teach gifted so I have a lot of experience with that). On top of all that he gets very bad croup, which he has now, supposedly from the allergies. It is school vacation now- thank goodness. He really needed a break. His behavior follows a similar pattern as your dgs, but I truly believe it is about the school calendar and not allergies. My son does take meds-but only for his ADHD, because that was interfering the most for him. He is very difficult to live with/be around, but deep down he is an awesome kid. Our "formula" is therapy, neurologist, karate, swimming, lots of teacher training and lots of deep breaths. I was in tears after his conference last week, but I know deep down he'll be ok in the long run because of all the support he has. (Oh- he also has a 504 modification plan at school). Anyhow, I would suggest getting as much help as possible both in and outside of school. Good luck!

By Gammiejoan on Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 08:03 pm:

Lauram, I do remember many of the similarities between my dgs and your ds. It just hurts so much to feel like he is making progress and then to have everything go badly again. I love him so very much, and he is an awesomely wonderful kid in many ways! I just get so tired of people looking at his behavior and judging our parenting and grandparenting techniques. Some people have even come right out and said that we are not strict enough with him and if we had disciplined him correctly that he wouldn't behave as he does. I know that this is not right, and I don't feel that I owe anyone an explanation. Still it is hurtful to know that people view the situation this way. Thanks to all of you for allowing me to vent.

By Feona on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 07:52 am:

Ds does something alittle similiar. I tell him not to be bossy. He still repeats himself alot when he talks so it is hard to work on this problem. But thanks for pointing out it is a problem that need attention.


It really is a behavior and can be changed with rewards or time outs. No bossing or into bed! Don't worry!

They have been giving ds smiley faces at school. If he gets three smiley faces he gets a chocolate egg. One day he didn't get the three smiley faces and he cried for 15 minutes. The next day he worked harder and got the smiley faces and chocolate egg.

By Lauram on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 01:30 pm:

I DO know how that hurts as I too have been accused of the same MANY times. I heard a wonderful speaker who talked about seeing the child with your heart- not with your eyes and ears (THe speaker was talking about kids with Tourette's). I'm sure he is a wonderful child. I would encourage you to keep trying to find the right help for him. Ignore those negative comments and keep your chin up! I know I have to do that on a regular basis! :)


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